This Little Light of Mine

I was supposed to hold you tomorrow. But instead I'm still empty and missing you.

I lit a candle for you at church. A tiny light for a tiny life that mostly went unnoticed.

I will never forget.

Six

To my sweet Quiz who is six on Sunday,

I have known you for 54 of your 72 months. And even though I missed those first 18 months of your life, you are mine. And always will be.

Here are six things I know about you:

1. You are so sweet to animals. Gracie loves to snuggle with you in the mornings, and she doesn't snuggle with just anyone. And Lily gets so excited when she sees you get off the bus everyday. You let her lick your face and always give her a hug when you're going to bed.

2. You like to know exactly what is coming next. You can't relax unless you have a step by step plan.

3. You have so much energy. I really don't know where you get it, and I wish you could share it with me. You're always on the move and just love to play.

4. You LOVE your dad. He's your favorite person in the whole entire world. You look up to him so much and want to do everything he does.

5. You're a good eater, but you don't like potaoes, rice or pasta. And you say batatoes.

6. This mixed up family is all you know. You don't see anything different. You don't know that most kids don't switch houses every other night. Your family is your family, and that's it. I don't have a fancy title. I don't even think you know what stepmom means. So I'm just Christie, but you don't remember a time when I wasn't here. I'm yours, and you're mine. That's just the way it is.

Happy happy birthday, buddy! I love you!

And Then the Chicken Kiev Revolted

I've been cooking and baking a lot lately. Mostly because I joined a food co-op, so every month I have 5-10 meals ready in my freezer. It's very convenient and is allowing me to cook things I normally wouldn't attempt. And since all the ingredients are included, it's pretty easy. I go once a month and prepare a meal for about 3 hours. Then we go around and collect the meals we ordered from others. It's been great, and everything has been really good so far.

That being said, the meals are a little more complicated than I'm used to. Left to my own devices, I usually stick with things like tacos, spaghetti, or chili. Meals where the most complicated step is browning some hamburger meat or boiling water. The co-op meals usually involve multiple steps and about an hour to put everything together. This is perfectly ok with me for two reasons. First, my family is probably tired of the variations of Ground Beef Surprise I normally serve them. And I have some extra time on my hands now.

So far, I've made parmesean breaded chicken tenders, turkey sausage stir fry and cheesy Italian meatloaf. I save the more kid-friendly choices for the nights we have the kids (imaginary kids can be picky like that).

Tonight was just the two of us, so I decided to attempt the baked chicken kiev. There was melted butter, breading and tying with string involved, but I managed to get it done and in the oven.

About 15 minutes later, I wanted to flip them so they would brown on both sides. But some of the butter and cheese filling had leaked out and was boiling and popping all over my oven. Being as inexperienced as I am with this whole cooking adventure, I reached in and tried to pull the cookie sheet out. The butter spattered onto my arm, and the kitchen filled with smoke.

You'll be relieved to know that our smoke detectors are in working order.

The chicken actually turned out really well after all that. I was pretty proud of my culinary accomplishment-- even though the majority of it was prepared at co-op, I still risked my life for that chicken.

And I'm sure my arm hair will grow back. Eventually.

Figments of my Imagination

Last week at church, a woman said to me, "You'll understand when you have real kids."

Hmmm. I guess Minnie and Quiz are figments of my imagination, which got me thinking. Perhaps I should check myself into one of those straight jacket hospitals. Because I've been talking to imaginary people for 4 and a half years!

And it doesn't end there. I do about five loads of imaginary laundry each week. And I have fully decorated rooms in my house dedicated to my pretend children. I even cook for them! And this week I'm baking 4 separate birthday treats for Quiz's birthday. I mean, what must those people think at church, hockey, kindergarten, and the skate rink when I volunteer to bring treats for an imaginary child? And about that skate rink. I booked an entire party and sent out invitations for a kid that only exists in my head.

Man, this problem goes deep. The fact that I even gave these "kids" birthdays says a lot. I will probably be locked up for quite some time to sort this out. Don't get worried if you don't hear from me for awhile. I'm just busy trying to get to the bottom of my delusions.

:)

Sorry I've Been Away

Ever since upgrading my iPad to ios5, the program I use to write my blog has crashed. I'm open to ap suggestions from any Apple people out there!

So, sorry I haven't written much but I'll be back. And I have a LOT to say.

Thanks for sticking around in the meantime. I still read every comment! :)

Be back soon, promise!