Deep breath. I have a Dr. appointment next Tuesday. I finally decided after 18 failed cycles that something must be wrong. I know. Duh, right? Well, I prefer to take the What About Bob approach to healthcare-- baby steps to the elevator. That's all I can handle.
So I made an appointment for a consultation. And that's all I'm committing to at this point. I know she will suggest bloodwork, but I can't deal with that right now. I have a huge needle phobia. Not a fear, a full-fledged phobia. I'd explain it to you, but you wouldn't believe me.
I knew going into this that I would have to face my fear to have a baby. And I just assumed I would be willing to do anything once there was another human being hanging out in my uterus depending on me. Maybe not, but that's what I planned on happening--that motherhood would overrule everything else in my brain. I never considered that I'd have to face my fear before getting pregnant. So, I'm not thinking about that right now.
Right now, I have an appointment next Tuesday afternoon, just to talk. Baby steps.