Monday, August 15, 2011

Peeing on Sticks

Some women like to scrapbook. Others may knit. My hobby is peeing on very expensive sticks. Depending on the time of the month, I am either testing for ovulation or pregnancy. The lady at Walgreens recognizes me, and I'm pretty sure I'm the number one stock holder in First Response.

The pregnancy testing has been going on for 10 months, but the ovulation testing is new this month. I never wanted to get into the technical aspects of baby making--basal thermometers, ovulation tests, charting, etc--because I new it would become an obsession for me. Even more so than it already is, if that's possible. But after the miscarriage, my body went haywire and there is absolutely no rhyme or reason to my cycle. So my midwife recommended ovulation testing. Great, more expensive tests to pee on and obsess over.

So, this has been my mission this week. To hold my pee for 4 hours, not drink anything during that time, then pee on a stick at the same time every day.

First of all, 4 hours is a long time! The first day, I had a dentist appointment during hour 3. Sure, sounds like a perfect time to squirt cold water on my teeth. I'm surprised I didn't pee right in their fancy dentist chair.

Then, day 2-4 was the garage sale (which wasn't at my house by the way.) on Day 4, I forgot to withhold fluid intake but did manage to pee on the stick at exactly 1pm.

Yesterday, I forgot all about all of it until about 4:30. I had been drinking and peeing freely all day. Oops.

Then there's today. The madness also known as The First Day of School. I decided I needed to be fancy for kindergarten orientation, meaning I was going to wash, dry, and straighten my hair. A process normally reserved for weddings and meeting the Queen. Well, since the orientation is at 1, I needed to take the test early. But I forgot about that 4 hour Window of Torture again.

Needless to say, this entire process is going wonderfully so far. I've peed on approximately $4000 worth of tests this week (this number is greatly exaggerated an estimate) and have yet to get a positive result.

Where are my eggs?!


  1. Amazon is your friend. When I'm trying I buy lots of the cheap pregnancy tests so I can pee on a stick every day if I want. I've never used the ovulation tests but I've used these pregnancy tests and in my experience they're just as accurate/sensitive as the 1st response ones.

  2. As one who is also in a constant of TTC (trying to conceive) I feel your pain. (Also stepmom to 2 great kids) I was told the first morning pee is the best so I struggle to remember to get the stick and do my duty while desperately trying to clear my head and wake up. It's tough to pee on a stick before coffee! Just a suggestion based on what I researched. Good luck!