Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Yes it is. No it's not. Yes it IS!

The arguing is Out. Of. Control. in our house. I can't stand it anymore. And I'm not even referring to the constant bickering between the kids.

Every time I say ANYTHING, someone argues with me.

It's mostly between me and Minnie. We're both so stubborn and always have to be right. My husband is so annoyed by our arguing at this point. He doesn't understand why I can't just let it go.

But I can't. Why? Because she is wrong, and I am RIGHT! Duh.

But seriously, why am I arguing with an (almost) 11 year old? Does it really matter if she thinks you don't have to go to college to become a lawyer? Or if she insists the library is open on Sundays?

It's a constant battle. And I think the key is to pick my battles because her attitude is growing as fast as she is. There are going to be important things to fight about over the next few years, I'm sure. So I guess I should just save my breath. I'm gonna need it.

But the worst part is that now Quiz is doing it too. He argues with me before he even hears all of what I'm saying. I actually had this argument with him:

"All of my friends are going to kindergarten with me."

"Yes, but there are two classes. So some will be in your class and some will be in the other class."

"No, I SAW them when we went there!" (the orientation)

"Yes, that was all the kindergartners, but there are two classes."

"No there isn't."

"Yes there is."

"Nu uh."

"Ya huh."

Really? I'm arguing with a 5 year old! Constantly actually. If I say the sky is blue, he'd say it's red. And I'd keep going until he agrees with me.

I think I need to embroider myself a little pillow that says "Pick your battles, Moron!" because I can't seem to remember.


  1. I hear you.... I fight with my almost 4 yo for so dumb stuff that at the end I ask my self "does this really matter?" I lately had achieved to stop myself and just say "mmmhhmm " But I discover I was relieving my stress with her.. Fighting with her. as I didn't have to much adult conversation around. Husband arriving really late, And I staying here surrounded by therapist that just come with my son and an almost 4 yo that argues everything...

    I guess I just got tired of the lack of logic of her mind..been myself a complete logic control freak I guess it was that.

    HUGS! ( can't imagine my girl been 11 if at 4 she is like a teen already...)

  2. I do that all the time with all 4 of my boys and when we get my other 2 bonus babies...same thing!!!!

  3. My boys are 16 & 18 and if I actually listened to the crazy stuff they say I would go mad. Instead I say "uh-huh" and a lot of times i say "What?" Repeating things keep them busy and I am still not listening.
    Pick your battles is the first commandment of parenting. Believe me there are sooo many more battles to come! lol

  4. The best thing I read is from Love and Logic where you are supposed to say "I love you too much for argue." Sure that sounds fine on paper, but by golly when my 6 year old step son "raspy" argues that he's never been to Waco even though we went there for a wedding for a weekend, it's all I can do not to get in to the "yes huh" "nu uh" argument and regress back to childhood. I know your pain!

  5. Can I just say i am SO HAPPY to have found this blog and can relate to pretty much everything! Thank you!

  6. I wish you guys could see how nerdily excited I get whenever I read your comments. Thanks again!

  7. I definitely just say "uh huh" to my almost 16 yo when I want to argue. It keeps the peace and saves my "mom" arguing power for when I really need it.

  8. Welcome to Iowa! I say that with a very exaggerated eye roll. I am not happy about STILL having to live in this place.
    I'm a mom, blogger, teacher, wine drinker, and wanderlust. I enjoyed your post on MommyLand. I am in love with that site!
    I just wanted to tell you that You.Are.Awesome.
    I am part of a blended family, too. I have 2 daughters, 7 and 2. My oldest daughter, who we'll *affectionately* call Butt Nugget, was barely 9 months old when her dad and I split. I had NO intention of getting into a serious relationship any time soon, but stumbled upon the love of my life a few months later. He is the half brother of my sister's husband. Yeah. Let that digest a bit.
    Loooonnnnggg story short, we have an AWESOME family! It was my number one priority that we all act like a family and get along. So my parents invite Ex over for holidays, I send photos to Ex's folks in Arkansas, me and Ex's new wife text and coordinate our schedules, and me and Ex keep it positive and compatible at all times.
    Since before Butt Nugget could even talk, she was being told how lucky she was to have two dads that loved her so much. And know what? She believes that. And so do I. My husband is an incredible (step) parent. And I appreciate it more than I can say. My daughter is SO lucky.
    My husband's family has loved and cherished my oldest daughter as if she was their own flesh and blood from the moment we started dating. My kids have so many grandparents, aunts, uncles, "cousins"... and it's amazing!!!

    Your kids are SO LUCKY to have an amazing (step) mom like you. It's tough. REALLY tough. Thank you for doing an amazing job at something you may have never really set out to do. I wish you nothing but the best in your endeavor and quest to grow your family!

    I do my own blogging, about food. dinnertimeninja.blogspot

    Us Iowa moms have to stick together!!

  9. I am constantly arguing with my 11yr old too! Everything I say she says or does the opposite. One day we were in the car backing out of the driveway and I said "Oh, Look at the bird on the driveway eating the worm!" She looks as we are now about 50+ feet way and says "That is not a worm it is a caterpiller!" Are you freaking kidding me! Now I just keep my mouth shut and have been trying so hard to just ignore all of the little stuff. :)

  10. It gets worse and it gets better. When my stepdaughter was in middle school, it seemed like she was all mouth and up to fight all the time. Then she and her mother had a HUGE fight and they didn't see each other for almost 2 years. We are super close - her dad has full physical custody - and now she is 17. She knows who has her best interests at heart all the time. We still argue and sometimes it gets ugly but an hour later she'll be asking for a hug and everything is great again. That's just the tip of the iceberg, of course, but the long and short of it is that we are close enough to openly disagree. And that is a good thing.